


Survivor

by petri_dish



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Overuse of the word When, Phil dies, also they found banner, clint just wants to be happy, pietro dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 11:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6517225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petri_dish/pseuds/petri_dish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint's used to getting screwed over, he just kind of wants it to stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Survivor

**Author's Note:**

> so im drunk and this is my first fic, thanks

Clint has lost his family; he’s been tortured and betrayed, he’s had his mind warped and his free will stripped from him.  
But he’s survived. 

When his parent’s car wrapped around that tree, he felt his world shatter. He thought at least I still have Barney, my brother, my friend; we are all we have.

When Barney left him without even a backwards glance he felt his lungs collapse and his stomach coil into a spring, he thought his airways would never open back up. After regaining a semblance of composure he thought, there’s still the circus. A kind of acceptance, I have talent they won’t give me up so easily.

When S.H.I.E.L.D. came for him he was in limbo, the circus only kept him because he brought in spectators and he only stayed because he was scared of being completely alone. Fury offered him a kind of security he knew he didn’t have anywhere else. There wasn’t much of a thought before he accepted.

When Coulson found him he was desperate, all the other handlers had thrown him aside and declared him a lost cause. But Phil had seen him and knew that he could anything, Phil Coulson gave him a reason to keep fighting. He told him not to let them be right. ‘Don’t let them make you anything less than what you are, than what you can be.’

When he found Natasha he wasn’t sure why, but he knew, she was important. Maybe it was selfish of him to bring her in. for all he knew she wanted him to end her, all the crap he could only imagine she had faced, maybe she wanted to get taken out. But he saw her and he was lonely, and she had potential, in a moment he saw how much she would mean to him. Or maybe it was a mistake she would only end up leaving like everyone eventually did.

When Loki happened he just felt guilt. How many people had he helped murder? It was his fault Coulson was dead. Coulson and Nat were the only good things he had left. Now he had lost one and he was sure to lose the other because of it. But Nat didn’t leave him like he thought she would, and after New York, and after the scepter and Loki were finally caught he and Natasha fell asleep holding each other tight, sharing tears spilt over their Coulson.

When Pietro found him Clint Felt his heart beat faster and his breath quicken,of course it could have been the adrenaline of the fight, or the shock of being knocked down by a super speedy asshole. But if Clint was really honest with himself it was the smooth skin, thick accent, wispy hair and sleepy bedroom eyes.

When the twins came over to their side Clint wished he could feel bad about shooting the floor from underneath him but really, he didn’t.

When Pietro kissed him just before they left the jet, Clint felt high. It wasn’t fireworks and roses, but it was something. His cheeks flushed and he thought nothing else could ever feel this good. Turns out he was right.

When Clint shielded the boy, he thought ‘this is it’, He had never really thought about death. In his line of work, of course, it was always an occupational hazard, but it didn’t mean he had to dwell on it. Even now faced with it head on, he wasn’t exactly sure how to feel, but when the bullets didn’t hit home and there was no pain he turned and he knew exactly how to feel, or rather not feel, because seeing Pietro standing over him eight holes in his torso blood beginning to soak through his clothes he didn’t feel anything. Not fear, not sadness he just felt empty.

When he got back to the tower Clint slept for 14 hours, and he woke up crying, Nat was off with Banner who had been found flying somewhere over the Dead Sea, She was gone like he knew she one day would be and Clint was well and truly alone.  
But that was okay because he could survive.

Though truth be told he wasn’t sure he wanted to.


End file.
